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A Dash Of Mayo

The rest of the P’s are good though PJs, Photographs, Pranks, Pretty Women and even a bit of philosophy

I was schooled in the desert, in a sprawling school for some reason named Mayo College. It has over 16 football fields and the initial students were sons of kings who came on a retinue of elephants.

Basically it’s the size of a small African Nation. And sometimes just as wild!

I was 9 years there. I cried, laughed, screamed, shouted, made friends, made mistakes, fought, lost, won, acted, reacted, drank, pranked, walked, ran, jumped, swam (very badly), and got caught smoking the day I was going to be appointed class monitor!

Anyways to cut to the chase here are some things I learned at school.

Anyone can become anything
My class topper who was such a genius that we were sure he would become a scientist and get the nobel prize, grew his hair till his shoulders, smoked joints non stop for 2 years and became a journalist, and then a revolutionary. While an energetic sardarji who used to chase me around with a divider is now an accomplished doctor who actually performed sinus operation on me. Wow!

Don’t tell small lies
When I would get late for morning Physical Exercise I would tell lies like ‘the geyser wasn’t working’ or ‘my shorts tore’ and always got caught. Then I learned ‘I got up on time but saw this spider on my bed that looked like the poisonous one that the Biology teacher had warned us about so I took an empty glass upside down…’ and by this time the monitor was so confused he just waved me into line.

Spread your butter thin
In Mayo we used to get small slabs of butter but really knew how to use them amazingly. I once made one last long enough to spread over 8 toasts while Baggu managed 11. I don’t know the lesson in this but it must be important!

Knowledge always protects you
Our middle school master OP Pathak had a simple answer for most infractions – a caning – ‘six of the best’ he would say. Of particular help here was the school atlas – a book called ‘India on the move’ – firmly hidden between your butt and the shorts. Yes we learned very early how knowledge is the ultimate protector.

The screen is greener on…
We use to watch movies from the pavilion with the screen in the middle of the athletics ground. I remember this one particular movie ‘Candidate for a Killing’ – the actress was undressing and at the last possible moment turned around just as she was unclasping her bra. A whole lot of us ran around to the other side of the screen to see…

Till Whatsapp do us part
In school we used to meet every day and now we meet every day – on a group. The only big difference there is that in school we kicked, and punched and wrestled over important things like who stole who’s jam and who called who’s mother what. Now we fight bitterly over the stupidest thing ever – Politics.

The rest of the P’s are good though PJs, Photographs, Pranks, Pretty Women and even a bit of philosophy.

WhatsApp is cool. We’re back in school!

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